The third season finished abruptly - at least as K & I saw it: on DVD, in two days. Sparkles of understanding, identity confirmation and determination to hear about other La La experiences. Inevitably I define myself through various characters: some are similar to me, some are far from similarity and some are intriguing. However one thing I know for sure - I am glad I am with K and that we are talking.
I wonder if it is so obvious to all La La girls that Bette's and Tina's relationship is not working only because they are not expressing how they feel and what they are thinking. Even if one of them tries, the other one withdraws and decides to escape engaging in work, baby or another relationship. Almost certain recipe for termination of a relationship. Another example is Dana. Why did she trap herself in rejection, solitude and poor me drama? She rejected Lara and chose solitude, she didn't invite her friends to be part of her life's major story. If she thought of all of that all the girls could have been acknowledged during the funeral. That was painful to watch - way to go Alice for standing up for the rights.
For those who have friends who are ill, being it breast cancer, aids or even flu - great read is Nancy Kline's book "Time to Think". Real help in understanding how important it is to listen and what kind of support you can offer in various ways. Recently a friend was in the hospital, she just got evacuated back to UK. I had a glimpse of understanding how difficult it is to present ease and lightness to a person that faces critical health condition. Mind races with worries, ears are fuming with information and then this blabber starts coming out, unstoppable blabber. I guess it is a kind of a problem personification, attachment to the experience and fear of "What would I do if I was her?" I guess that is the case with any kind of story, mine too.
Today I am wondering about the cycles I have been through. After over thirty years of living this body I am at this point in life planning K & my wedding. And the point is high point, no doubt. It is as high as a mountain peak that gets you to see over the valley and all other peaks, some smaller some higher, some are lost in the distance but memory keeps bringing them back. I learned a lot climbing those peaks. I found out how to choose a safe path, how to tie knots and secure the harness before I jump into abyss. K is my harness and my safety rope but I also learned that jumping into abyss is not such a thrill after all.
So, looking into the future there is this wedding peak, not so tall but simple event planning peak that is for us personally and we need to know what is it that we both want.
We have few layers of differences, and major sameness: we hope to be relaxed and happy, we want to have fun. How??? What bugs me is what do we wear? T-shirt with a statement? or a gown? Is the whole wedding ceremony just a statement, performance or celebration and ritual? We are still exploring. I know one thing for sure - there won't be official invitations. I used sms, email and phone to invite people. I hope they don't mind. Maybe they will forget? Who will be where? We are getting married first in Canada and then having a wedding ceremony in Beijing. As it happens we also need to decide on the outfit, flower arrangements, who to invite, where to dine in Vancouver too. And then, rings! We don't wear rings! Tattoos are the latest idea.
The clock is ticking, Vancouver August 11th, Beijing September 22nd. Oh, right, I remember now, a friend helped us check the auspicious dates and 11.08.2006. is apparently fantastic! September 22nd however is not. Really bad day, something like 'stay-at-home-and-hide' day. 25th is better, don't ask me why. I am not sure if I want to give in completely to the power of numerology. Maybe the best would be to continue with 22nd September and blame it on the 'not auspicious' day if things go wrong. I think I'd be more relaxed then - it's beyond my control.
Be safe and enjoy the journey
:D
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