Mind - Body discord

It happens sometimes that my mind gets sidetracked and completely overtaken by thoughts of different kind than working with body and directing its motion. To say I don't like when that happens during the practice is a mild statement. I hate it, I feel embarrassed, tears overcome my being. I surely don't know what to do when I simply cannot grasp the action shown or even see what is the difference between two basic moves.

Leg stretch
Universal step + Human-Heaven unity cycle

Foot stretch
Shoulder roll
Double palm twist walk

Implementation of double palm twist in combat (blank:( )
Fighting with tears (all the way until the end)

10-step
5 elements

12-hand posture (ping and he)
Standing stance

Closing the practice

Rain

Thunder and lightning interrupted sleep for a moment, brought awareness of disturbed rhythm. Nature allowed to take a day off.

Later, between two showers while walking the dogs I found a spot to do standing stance (zhang zhuang), two 12-hand postures and Dragon Spirit Moves Qi (shen l0ng hua qi).

Overall

Practice continues in the same style, mostly 5 elements before the bagua circle. I am getting stronger feeling in my dantian. On Sunday I felt amazing force taking my step further than usual while I slowly lowered my posture and looking for a feeling like in a standing stance. As usual, after new perceptions in practice, my life encounters a shift - yesterday a wave of sadness embraced me and I cried like I haven't cried for ages. Liu says my lungs are cleansing and I should do it at least once a week (cry, that is). I feel exhausted.

Today we mostly talked and I did 12 hand postures and 5 elements practice. I forgot to eat breakfast before so couldn't do anything else...

September 4

Practice:

Leg stretch
Universal step and
Heaven-Human unity cycle

5 elements

My stomach responded here with cold sweat and cramps - I caught cold during night and had to rush to a bathroom. Another set of 5 elements practice helped regain balance. The rest of the class was spent with Liu talking about relationship between humans and our actions - all related to comparison and somewhat competition.

September 3

Practice
Leg Stretch
Universal step
Heaven-Human unity cycle

5 elements

Foot stretch
Shoulder roll

8 Directions form

Practice close

My energy level kept changing during the practice. It rained last night and I felt fresh air in my nostrils. What a refreshment after long and humidly polluted air. Autumn, Metal, Lungs, Pi has finally arrived.

weekend practice

For weekend we practice in Ritan Park. I enjoy calm energy of Ritan Park, shades that trees give and cool feeling on my skin even when temperatures are high.

Practice:

Leg stretch
12 hand postures

5 elements (full and half set)

Bagua circle

2,25 and 2,5 weights while doing Carrying the Plate exercise. On Sunday I did it while walking the 10 step. Uplifting and amazing to find that strength in my hands. Interesting was that only my legs ached afterwards. My arms relaxed and light. Before each try Liu suggested to send qi to my hands and focus on dantian.